"Watching" "reruns" of "Glee"?
A newsletter dedicated to Owen W. and Olivia R.
It’s been a few weeks since I last hit send and unnecessarily added my opinion into the ether…but here we are again! Quality over quantity is the motto by which alive, so we can just choose to apply that adage to this situation if we want.
I always wondered what happened if you lived in an elevator building and said elevator breaks. A few days ago, I found out what happens - you have to take the stairs! There are no exceptions if you live on a floor that is really high up/you’re carrying very heavy bags of groceries/already worked out that day etc. Life is hard, sometimes.
Just five months ago, I was going on frigid cold walks in an attempt to feel something, yet I had so many thoughts and feelings to share in written form about movies and books and home décor. Now that I am for lack of a better word happy, I went on a walk to get some sort of inspiration for what to write about. For the past two weeks I have felt like I have…nothing to say?
I think that’s partly because I had been speaking about all my content consumption in person for once, so writing about things like Mare and Sour felt less urgent. I’d already gotten my thoughts out in some form, so I didn’t feel compelled to write them down again. Luckily, inspiration struck in the form of a sandy haired, broken nosed actor with perfect comedic timing - Owen Wilson. He jolted me out of newsletter hibernation.
Do you guys even care about the new Disney+ show Loki? I think I do. After a little journey through the seven layers of the candy cane forest of OW content, I came to be full on invested in a show I don’t have the energy to try to understand. Why? Simply for the Owen!
When I watch a movie for the first time when I’m on a plane, I have a lot of trouble remembering it. I can’t even think of any memorable movies I’ve watched in the air. A few months ago, after the Academy Awards, I watched the Danish film Another Round starring Mads Mikkelsen while flying across the country. The premise is that four grown men who are teachers at a school decide to try out being slightly drunk all the time. It makes their lives better at first, then shockingly starts making them a lot worse. At least, I’m pretty sure this is what the movie is about – I fell asleep halfway through, as one does on an airplane.
That experience made me realize that watching an important or “prestige” film on an airplane is probably the worst thing you could do. Going forward, planes are for movies that don’t matter. So, just a few days ago, on my way back to the island of garbage piles that I live on, I watched the 2001 film Zoolander.
The premise of the movie (turning male models into assassins that kill world leaders who stand up for the rights of workers) is so lofty, but yet it remains unbelievably funny. At one point Owen Wilson as Hansel says that he wasn’t like other kids, he didn’t want to be an astronaut, he was more curious about what bark on trees was made out of. I think about that line a lot. That line, to me, distills the essence of early two thousands comedy. The funniest things are the ones that don’t matter, that make no sense, and ultimately don’t add anything important to the plot. Will Ferrel as Mugatu repeating “That Hansel’s so hot right now” and screaming about inventing the piano key neck tie never gets old.
Back on the topic of Loki, I really think whoever had the idea to cast Owen in this role deserves to be publicly praised. He is perfectly suited for it, and it truly makes me miss his consistent presence on screen. Really, he is the star of some of my most watched and most favorite movies - from Wedding Crashers to The Royal Tenenbaums to Midnight in Paris.
So, after watching Zoolander, and contemplating all of Owen’s wonderful past content, then conquering the second episode of Loki (confusing), I couldn’t help but wonder…will Owen Wilson be getting his own McConaissance type comeback in the near future? Is it happening right now, even? I truly hope so. He will appear in Wes Anderson’s The French Dispatch which finally comes out this fall, and is apparently starring opposite Jennifer Lopez in a romantic comedy set for 2022 release, so things are looking optimistic for the Wilsonissance. Maybe Luke can get in on it too!
Of course, I would be remiss if I wrote about Owen and did not include this video.
As life approaches normalcy and I am thrown back into the lion’s den of talking to people I don’t know, I’ve realized that social interaction is mostly just saying how tired you are and complaining about the weather. You know, yawning when you run out of things to say, adding in some words about how you’re exhausted just to not seem rude (when in reality you got a solid 8.5 hours of sleep the past four nights). I didn’t really miss that at all.
Two weekends ago, though, I did experience an amazing collective moment that I hadn’t realized I’d been deprived of during the pandemic. Basking in the sheer joy of drinking a shitty vodka soda out of a plastic cup in a West Village basement, I wiped the sweat from my brow and heard the opening, transcendent notes of my new favorite song start to play…good 4 u I guessed you moved on pretty easily…the words sung so quickly, almost like they’re being muttered under her breath. I was thrilled to look around and see how so many others knew the lyrics and started singing along as well. It was the first time in almost 1.5 years that I’ve gotten to sing along to a new hit song with a room full of strangers. Life is beautiful, sometimes.
We just have to talk about Olivia! Let me start off by saying that I think she is capital T Talented and this album is a triumph. However, I also feel compelled to acknowledge that it’s annoying how every single song (save like three) is about how her ex-boyfriend moved on too quickly after he broke up with her. I mean, of course albums have been written about one breakup, but to write an entire album about….one detail of one breakup seems like a narrow exercise. But honestly, it’s impressive she managed to come up with six pretty distinctly interesting songs about the same. exact. idea. As it goes sometimes, the first half of the album has been what I end up listening to the most. The opening six songs really are special. If you’re looking for a sign to listen to Olivia, this is it.
brutal – A banger! It drew me in from the start. I’m going to make a crazy comparison and say it reminds me of a bubblegum version of Cannonball by The Breeders? Which is an indie rock song that was also used in the opening scene A Walk to Remember. I bet they hated that. Her most relatable lyric to a pandemic 25 year old (someone who has aged from 24 to 26 but gets to pretend to be 25 forevermore) is the one about not being able to parallel park.
traitor – She has put into song form a very important message – even if you do nothing wrong technically, we can still hate you. It’s definitely taking a lot from Taylor Swift, and we love it for that.
one step forward, three steps back – To choose three instead of two? Poetry.
deja vu – A stunning masterpiece, making uninteresting anecdotes about trading jackets (what) seem so important. What I would like to know is the last time someone watched a rerun…on cable television. I guess “streaming old episodes of” doesn’t sound as poetic. Also, I once heard someone say on a podcast that you’re either a Billy Joel person or a Bruce Springsteen person. I can forgive Olivia for standing on the wrong side of that debate.
driver’s license – The gateway drug, it’s Jar of Hearts by Christina Perri but about someone who has just learned to drive and knows nothing of the real pain life can bring. She bravely goes where no other teen pop star has gone before by saying fuck out loud in a song and I am obsessed with that.
good 4 u – This song is sooooo catchy and undeniably takes a lot from Paramore’s Misery Business, but I don’t even care. It is currently number one on my On Repeat Spotify playlist, and I don’t anticipate it going anywhere soon.
The monoculture was back in a big way a few weeks ago, and Mare was responsible. Everything has already been said, but I’ll just add that I honestly thought her name was Mare like a female horse for the whole show, and I even mentally noted how this seemed like a wild thing for her parents to do in the town of East surrounded by girls named Dawn, Beth, Lori, etc…Turns out her name is really just Marianne! Watching with subtitles is amazing and informative, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. I would like another season, please.
A few months ago I came across this tweet about the world’s most infamous beverage, and it really made me el oh el.
And then, today, I stumbled upon this post from our friends at @fourloko….it seems to me like they’re making a play to get back in the game. Congratulations to their Social Media Manager for coming up with this. Again, el oh el.
I couldn’t help but wonder…what if we did have the original formula back? Is that what espresso martinis are? Is that why espresso martinis are suddenly everywhere?! Should I have one tonight? Contemplate, readers, and let me know.